June 9th, 2006

Lollerskates

Part 2 of the Craigslist Chronicles

So, I received a reply from the craigslist poster:

Hi Alica,

You caught me in front of the computer. Very, very good questions. I certainly respect such attention to details.

The "upon request" part pretty much leaves the dirtiness and ribaldry open for the imagination. The football scenario was just an example of how my twisted mind works. There are many more examples (i.e. maybe we could have sex at a crowded bar whilst watching football together). There are also a few more limitations that have come to mind (i.e. not into urine and feces play. Sorry to bring that up, but somebody else did the other day. Not going there).

To answer your question regarding arrangements to watch the game. I'm not entirely selfish....this is supposed to be a relationship. If we should happen to make it through the summer and you want to watch the game tied up, then fine. I can leave one hand kind of loose so you may operate the remote to hop from game to game. I just don't want my football watching screwed up by your sick sexual needs.

Bottom line is I am looking for the girl that gets dirty and often. The main thing is good healthy old fashioned nasty sex.......and lots of it.

Sincerely,

Dude's name

P.S. - I have a tongue like Gene Simmons and call my penis Thumper.


You know, I would have given it *some* consideration until he told me he actually named his penis and then gave me the name. :)

I am going to ponder a response to this guy. But, right now, I need a nap.
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Eddie What's Up

I <3 McSweeney's

Apparent Passions of
My Upstairs Neighbors.

BY GLENN LINGLE

- - - -

Moving furniture

Rolling bowling balls off of tables

Keeping time to music by beating a staff

Picking up anvils, and then dropping them

Riverdance
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Bucky kissyface

Part 3 of the Craigslist Chronicles

Ok, here is my response to dude:


I must say that I am glad that you are not interested in feces/urine play, if not for the mess factor, but it really just isn't very sanitary.

I guess the really big question is this: Who is your team?

Also, I can respect that you need to retain some autonomy in a relationship and that football viewing can *not* be interrupted by anything. Especially some sicko who needs to be tied up for 3 1/2 - 7 hours at any given time.

Thanks for your honest answers and good luck with your search! :)
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