December 19th, 2007

Eddie Izzard WTF

Toaster thieves, sharp objects and fake lottery tickets

Sunday night found Char and myself out running errands and doing some Christmas shopping and what not. I believe I mentioned that in my last post about the drunken pizza monkeys. We had a nice uneventful trip to Target where I got a few last minute things for my gift exchange Tuesday night (I made up a "Night at the Movies" bag with theater sized candy, microwave popcorn, plastic popcorn holders and two terrible movies: The Exorcism of Emily Rose and Snakes on a Plane). Then we headed for the Dollar Tree. I needed to get gifts for the staff so they would have stuff in their stockings at the store. I got a few FM radios with headphones, some remote control cars, a little basketball game (Just point and shoot!), a keychain calculator (for one of the drivers who is constantly using her cell phone), a little keychain game for Doug the dough guy (the driver who drove his car into a wash) and a lint roller for one of the other drivers. He really seemed to admire the lint roller owned by Earl, the idiot. It's more a gag gift than anything. Anyways, we are looking through the bins and Char pulls out fake lottery tickets.

"These are great!"
"I'm not getting them fake lottery tickets. That's mean."
"No it's not! It's a great gag!"
"For one of my friends maybe, but not for an employee. Besides, that would be really crap if that was the only gift they got. Fake lottery tickets."
"I still think it's a good idea."

So, she found the remote control cars, and those were cool, so I got those. Hey, they are only $1! We wandered around a bit more. I got some deviled egg trays which were surprisingly good for only $1. We made our way up to the cashier and there was a utility knife type thing, kind of like a Leatherman or a Swiss Army Knife.

"Why don't you get them that?"
"I'm not giving my employees sharp objects. That's like giving them a license to kill."
Then, the guy in front of us says, "I get my kids guns and knives every year for Christmas."
I blinked. "Your children are one thing. A few of my employees are ex-felons. I don't think they can even carry these things."
(This really isn't true, but it sounded really good!)
Of course, this was after Char was suggesting that I get them nerf guns or something. Again, they don't need things that shoot or cut. That's just asking for trouble. :)

Then all the drama started, blah blah blah. Anyways, fast forward to Tuesday. I had to make 3 dozen deviled eggs (which were delicious, if I do say so myself) and decided to make some whipped cream and buy a pumpkin pie. I would have made a pumpkin pie, but I didn't think I'd have time. Which turned out to be correct. I screwed around most of the day, enjoying the whole "day off" thing, that I wound up rushing the rest of the afternoon.

I get up to Danny's for the party, and I'm the 3rd person to arrive, so I wasn't too late. That was good. We had a good time, I helped Danny finish up his cooking, everyone seemed to like the deviled eggs, the lasagna was delicious, the turkey was moist and perky, and I didn't have to drink Bud Light. I didn't get Kiltlifter, but I had some Red Hook Blonde Ale, not too shabby. Adam said he couldn't buy Sam Adams since it would make him sad. I told him that was fine as I don't drink it anyways. :) (side note: Giovanni, there was a 6' long Sam Adams thing that you would have wanted right away, but Diana has it. Maybe if you sweet talk her you can have it.)

We started the White Elephant, or Dirty Santa, or whatever you want to call it, where you can trade out your choice with one that's already been opened. I was the 4th to pull and got a toaster oven. I was pretty happy with that pull. I've been flirting with the idea of a toaster oven, but I don't actually want to buy one. And here was one, plopped into my lap. And was snatched! Diana decided to give me some gift that she pulled (still wrapped) and took my toaster oven. :( :( :(

I got a t-shirt and the really crappy Romeo and Juliet movie (with Leo Dicaprio). I was so bummed. I'll just see if I can trade it at Target for Harry Potter 5 or something. Anyways, there were other ways to get presents as door prizes and what not. I wound up with a croquet set (which I traded for a food basket) and an electric griddle. Ok, the electric griddle, seriously, is almost as big as my counters. I have *nowhere* to put it. So, that will also be going to Target.
"Hi Target employee, I was given these gifts a few days ago and well, they said they got them all from Target. Can I get store credit? They didn't keep the gift receipts. Thanks."

Then I can get my freaking toaster oven. And HP5. And kitty litter. No sharp objects. Or guns.
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