I had a beer with a few of the people there, including HAM, and I realized that even though I bother trying to get to know these people better as people not just coworkers, I am met with resistance. So, I decided to stop bother trying. Don't get me wrong, I'll still be friendly and pleasant, but I won't bother trying to invite people into my life outside of work. There's no point, obviously. This goes for HAM as well.
I don't know, this seems very much unlike me. I have always tried to make people feel comfortable and welcome and to know that they can come to me with anything and I'll be available, but I get this sense of closed-offedness (yeah, it's not a word, but it's all I can think of right now) from them. Maybe I'm just being angsty (it *is* LJ after all).
What I said earlier still applies though: I am happy I moved here. I've met some really great people and hope to continue to have good times with them. Maybe I just miss the camaraderie that I had with the people I worked with back in high school and college. Then again, I worked with those people for over a year, maybe I just haven't given it enough time.
I'm still going to pull back my efforts, however. It's mentally exhausting and I just can't spare the reserve energies that I had stored in my brain. I think if I had insurance, I'd go see a therapist. Just to have someone listen and tell me how to fix the problems. There's other stuff going on in my head, but I don't know if I'm ready to share them with all you people :) Not that I don't love you all, dear readers, but some things just have to remain locked away, at least for now.
Or maybe i just need to get laid. ;)