LocaKitty (locakitty) wrote,
LocaKitty
locakitty

  • Mood:
So much for leaving work at 11 tonight. At 10:30 we got 3, yes THREE, calls for deliveries and the other driver had just finished running his end of day stuff. So, I got to take them all. I didn't get back to the store until 11:30. *sigh* I was greeted with some dishes and the cook telling me that the other driver didn't bother taking out the garbage. Nice.

I had a beer with a few of the people there, including HAM, and I realized that even though I bother trying to get to know these people better as people not just coworkers, I am met with resistance. So, I decided to stop bother trying. Don't get me wrong, I'll still be friendly and pleasant, but I won't bother trying to invite people into my life outside of work. There's no point, obviously. This goes for HAM as well.

I don't know, this seems very much unlike me. I have always tried to make people feel comfortable and welcome and to know that they can come to me with anything and I'll be available, but I get this sense of closed-offedness (yeah, it's not a word, but it's all I can think of right now) from them. Maybe I'm just being angsty (it *is* LJ after all).

What I said earlier still applies though: I am happy I moved here. I've met some really great people and hope to continue to have good times with them. Maybe I just miss the camaraderie that I had with the people I worked with back in high school and college. Then again, I worked with those people for over a year, maybe I just haven't given it enough time.

I'm still going to pull back my efforts, however. It's mentally exhausting and I just can't spare the reserve energies that I had stored in my brain. I think if I had insurance, I'd go see a therapist. Just to have someone listen and tell me how to fix the problems. There's other stuff going on in my head, but I don't know if I'm ready to share them with all you people :) Not that I don't love you all, dear readers, but some things just have to remain locked away, at least for now.

Or maybe i just need to get laid. ;)
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  • (no subject)

    SO MANY THINGS. Let's start with some of the things going through my mind while I listened to toasts at a recent wedding. Everyone kept saying…

  • In other news

    I managed to score a part time job with an insurance company. I can see the end of coffee. Nope. They moved the position to Phoenix. sigh. back…

  • breakdown, on using livejournal as free therapy

    Saturday night I had another crying breakdown. Like, full body heaving, tears flowing, snot, the whole shebang. I'm a really ugly cryer. It's true.…