Sure, it's been a hard road. No, I don't really enjoy working two jobs but I gotta do what I gotta do. Every setback just means I need to work a little harder to make sure it doesn't happen again. Right now I'm in a comfortable spot (I mean, yeah more money would be nice, but who doesn't feel that way most of the time?) where I am finally getting a routine established as far as work goes and just living day to day.
I do miss my family, but I know that if I go back now, I'll just fall back into the same routines of being a beck and call girl to their every whim. Honestly, besides that, there just aren't any people that I would probably want to meet in Florida right now. I am fully enjoying the broad spectrum of people that I get to meet here on a daily basis. The landscape is breathtaking, the random things people do are amusing (like beef jerky guy at Bentley's this early afternoon) and I get to make fun of hippies. What more could you want?
So, 2006, what will you offer me? I can only hope for more interesting people to add to the growing circle of friends, a more satisfying use of my brainpower and the peace of mind that comes with finding your place in the world. I won't make any resolutions about smoking, drinking, weight management, organization or what have you because every failure just brings me down a little further. I know that I can't keep a planner I'm better at keeping those dates in my head or just a quick reminder in the cell phone. I have finally come to terms with that aspect of my personality. I can accept it now. I like cake and ice cream, and I won't deny myself having those tastes, but I can decrease the serving size :)
That's what life is, just learning how you are and what things you can and can't do and learning to accept those things about yourself instead of just butting your head up on a brick wall. I'm finally decreasing the amount of time I spend looking at the wall and instead turning around to see what else I can bash my head up against. Hopefully, it's something a little softer.