This was definitely the funniest delivery of the night.
I arrived at the sigma phi epilson house to deliver a pizza to a guy named andrew. Now, I dislike frat boys in general, but the guys i met tonight were pretty nice.
anyways, i get there and they let me in and go down to andrew's room and start banging on the door. They try calling him. he's not answering.
"take a load off."
I pick a seat that isn't too covered in beer stains and wait. They are talking about him and asking me if this is the same pizza that's been delivered twice before. I had no idea if it was or not.
I waited about five minutes and then said, "Ok, I'll be back. I have to deliver another pizza."
I deliver the other pizza and head back to the frat house. I knock on the door and they know it's me. I come in, sit down again and try to call andrew with my cell phone. I figure he doesn't know my number, maybe he'll actually answer his phone. No luck. They go banging on his door again. No luck.
"Maybe he's masturbating." says the guy with the most awesome nose I've ever seen. (seriously, I was in love with his face)
"Well, if he is, I hope he washes his hands before he gives me the money." I say.
"Probably won't. Just don't touch him, he's pretty gross."
"Not a problem."
We wait, they talk more about him and begin wondering if he's in the room with a chick.
"well, if he's with someone, he's gonna need some sustenance. you'd think he'd come out for his dinner." I joke.
"no kidding!" they all agree and laugh.
They pondered if it was Ted Nugent's niece in there with him.
I just laughed and listened.
So, I wait another five minutes. Another guy comes out and says, "Is that the pizza for andrew?"
I nod. And he asks me how much and I tell him the price.
"Hang on, I'll go get some money."
So, he buys andrew's pizza and runs out the door. The other guys are calling after him to come back and share and eat it in front of andrew's door. I laugh, thank them for their hospitality, they apologize for my having to wait so long and I'm on my way out the door.
Those guys kind of made my night. I get back to the store and ask James what was up with this delivery. He tells me that I'm the third attempt on delivering the pizza. I told him I sold it and he asked for how much. I said the $15 that it had on the ticket.
"Ha! I adjusted it down to $12 for late delivery, so you made that plus whatever tip you got on it."
So, thanks andrew, for letting me hang with your brothers for about 15 minutes tonight. Good group of guys, why are you such a dick?