scrolling through the personals is a nice way to spend ten minutes.
I found this: http://tucson.craigslist.org/m4w/168440400.html
And responded with this:
Regarding this part of your ad:
However, I will (upon request), tie you to the bed with stockings on Sunday and leave you there while I go watch football at the bar. Don't worry, you'll get attention after the games are over. And hey, when it's not football season, I won't even stray further than the living room.
What if she wants to watch the game, too? Will arrangements be made for her to watch the game whilst being tied to the bed?
I guess that's actually two questions.
Good luck with your search!