LocaKitty (locakitty) wrote,

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So, I read this blog written by one Kristy who lives in San Francisco and is full of breezy elegance and spills things on herself and has embarrassing moments and is able to rise above it all and have a fantastic life full of knitting and cats and this is becoming a run on sentence. Anyways, if you haven't read her blog, I suggest you start at the beginning and just read. It's a great blog and it's something that I am sometimes a tad jealous of, since I feel that there are some things that I am not ready to share with anyone, like a picture of myself. :)

Right, so she asked for people to be asked interview questions. I got one for myself and it was this: What do you think your 8-year old self would think of your current self?

I tried to put myself back to my 8 year old self. I had had my glasses for about 2 years at that point, I was in second or third grade at the time. I was awkward but still managed to have quite a few friends. I hid my intelligence from a lot of my classmates, I dumbed myself down and tried to do poorly because I already had the glasses and was considered a nerd. It didn't help that I was one of maybe five Latino students and only a handful of white students. So, that was another strike against me. I was just so foreign, I stuck out like a sore thumb. No matter where I went in that school. And yet, I still found love and acceptance from a few people.

Now, I still kind of stick out like a sore thumb. I'm this slightly socially awkward person, I still have glasses, but I only wear them after the contacts come out. Very few people have seen me with them on. I hate them. I really do. I do have a nice handful of friends. I think that my 8-year old self would just wonder, "Are you happy?" You don't have the traditional trappings that many women have at your age. You are not married, you are not in a romantic relationship, you have no children, you own two cats, you kind of have a career but it wasn't what you wanted when you first entered college. Are you truly happy where you are right now?

And the answer is: Kind of.

Yes, I do wish that I was in a romantic relationship, but mostly because I want to wake up next to someone and know that I have someone who loves me in a different way than my friends do.

I do own a home. To me that's been a great achievement, and it's something I did on my own. I think my 8-year old self would be slightly in awe that she would be able to accomplish that one day. Especially given the state of my family back at that time period. Things weren't the happiest. There was some financial trouble that would get worse the next year and I would have to step up and take over where my mother just dropped the ball, but my 8-year old self doesn't know that that is just around the corner.

I have a nice job. Yes, it's stressful. I do a lot of that to myself. Instead of asking for help, I just decide that I can do it on my own. It's a vicious circle, and I think that maybe my 8-year old self would completely understand, because I did that even at that age. She would probably suggest that I stop doing that and consider asking for assistance.

On the whole, I think she would be happy with the outcome so far, but would probably make a few changes to her lifestyle leading up to this point. Like not starting smoking in college, and perhaps laying off the chicken wings and beer.

So, 8-year old self, thanks for letting me take a closer look at how things are going with my life right now. And thanks Kristy, for letting me have a chat with that little girl.

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