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Multiple days all in a row  
02:18pm 26/10/2007
 
 
LocaKitty
Monday I wound up staying pretty late at work. I was going to have one of my other drivers come in and do a little bit of covering to help me out while I did closing driver. She called about two hours before she was gonna come in to cover and said that she couldn't make it because she had to go to the hospital. She's pregnant and something wasn't feeling right. Everything is okay though. She just needs to take it easy. No driving really anymore, too much getting in and out and lifting. She's going to be working inside for a while. So, that's good, I needed another cook so that's okay, but that left me with no freaking drivers.

Monday afternoon the other driver who was supposed to be in says, "I can't come in until 7:15" so I tell him to forget it because I didn't need him that late in the evening. Great, now I'm alone. T called in Chris, who is a fantastic driver, to cover through dinner rush. When he found out that I had opened the store, he asked if I wanted him to do the closing shift. I thought about it, thought about how shitty labor was and how I had to be in at 9 a.m. the next day...I agreed to let him close. I was still there until about 9:30 p.m. I went and had a beer at the RG and a cup of soup. I decided that soup was necessary for my mental health. And two beers. It helped a little bit, especially watching a guy under 21 try to get beer. Trisk was a little too smart for him and kicked him out. When I left, he was outside listening to his iPod(tm) while he waited for his friend to finish his beer. You know, there are tons of places for you guys to play pool, why do you have to go to the place where you have to be 21? Dumbasses.

Tuesday morning, I find out from Adam that the setup isn't even starting until about 6:45, so I call Miss and tell her not to worry about covering the closing shift for me (we were closing at 5 p.m., so I was doing an open/close) since I didn't need to leave that early anymore. Saved a little labor that way, so that was good. We were pretty busy, but nothing too insane. Closed up at 5 on the dot and then it took me less than 20 minutes to do the actual closing paperwork! Yay! Ran home, took a shower and got ready then went to pick up Miss and Jesse. Her husband and others were carpooling together already, no more room in the car, so I had them in my car. We get there and get things going and it's all good. Do the set up, start drinking and everything is good. James shows up and I'm trying to figure out who he is with. There is some closeness between the two of them, but they are trying to not show it. And, I'm thinking, is this Rachel? His 18 year old supervisor. It is, I find out from Ginger later. They are dating. Oh really? Fascinating. That explains the hickey on his neck last week, that he tried to hide, but did a really shitty job of it. When I asked Ginger if that was indeed Rachel, she confirmed that it was and that they were dating. She then tells me that he was dating Shandra earlier before Rachel came on board at his store. But, he brushed her off to get with Rachel.

Now, I had asked him if he and Rachel were getting a little something going on, because you'd have to be blind to not notice that there was SOMETHING going on between the two of them and he adamantly denied it. To the point that I wanted to say, "Thou doth protest too much". So, that was great that I was lied to. But, the worst part of what I found out is that he told Ginger something that had transpired between he and I in Las Vegas. Now, there are a few people aware of what happened that I have told in person and that *don't* work for the company. He told Ginger. Yes, he told Ginger our personal business. THAT really pissed me off. I am ragingly pissed off right now. I'm not so upset, really, about who he is dating because he was not mine to have in the first place. But, I'm upset that something that was supposed to be private was broadcast to someone who may or may not show discretion in who she tells. I also found out that there was some talk about me and someone else in the company. Even though nothing happened and there wasn't anything was going to happen. But, what the fuck? So, I need to actually sit down and chat with her because I need to know what the fuck is being said about me in this company and how my performance is being graded here, because I did not sleep my way to the middle. I actually did a little bit of work to get there. Not much, but a little.

I'm still really angry, three days later, I'm just so pissed off that he did this. That he fucking told someone our personal business. Telling his mom or a friend is one thing, but telling someone IN the company is quite another. I don't doubt Ginger's discretion, but there is always a chance that something could slip out.

And, well, it's just a further blow to my self esteem knowing that I was taken advantage of, because he KNEW how I felt about him and exploited that fact to get me to help him out of a couple of work binds. "I *really* need a driver. Could you or one of your drivers do it?"
"Will it help you out?"
"Yes, definitely, I've already pulled X amount of drive shifts."
"Ok, if it will help you out, then I'll do it."
And I did. Gave up my day off to help him out. Yes, the cash was nice, but I did it to help him. I do anything for my friends. You need help? I'm there for you. I'm there to help you out in any way that I can. As Char pointed out yesterday during our 6 hour kvetching session, I leave my phone on all night long just in case someone tries to contact me if they are having some sort of emergency or mental meltdown or whatever. I'm there. Just ask C, calling me at 4:30 in the morning in tears because she's seeing a douchebag.

And, as far as the self esteem goes, I have managed to avoid the whole, "What does she have that I don't have?" thing. She's a nice girl, I like her, she seems like she's pretty cool and she's adorable. So, more power to her I guess. Enjoy having him around you, because he's a user and I hope he doesn't do you as bad as he did Shandra, because, just from the gossip I got on that (and I had NO idea that they were together, they hid it really really well) she's in for a bumpy ride if he finds someone else. And, well, the other thing is, why *didn't* he pick me? Is it because I told him, "Hey, I'm not looking for a relationship, I'm just looking for a friends with benefits type of thing." I know that some guys can't handle that kind of detachment, but I figured, well, neither one of us has any real time for actual dating, so why not skip the dinner and a movie and get right to the physical release? Plus, it saves money! :)

Well, for whatever reason, my offer wasn't good enough. Maybe he was seeing someone else when this offer was made, but he felt the need to keep that a secret from me. I don't know. I'm just tired of even thinking about it right now. On the one hand though, I want to get the info that I need from Ginger and then make a decision right then and there as to whether or not I should confront him with this. On the other hand, why let him know that I know? I hate playing games, but there is a theory that he is threatened by my position in the company even though he is technically in a senior position since he's been a GM longer than myself and runs the busiest location in the company. I don't know. I may not confront him with it unless he grows a set and asks why I seem to have changed. And I will have changed. There is no more flirting, no matter how hard he tries, it's done. Because, did I mention he keeps flirting with me, through all of these women he's been seeing, I'm still getting freaking comeons and what not. WTF? Sorry, no. Even if it was a relationship of casual sex, I wouldn't do it with someone who is in a relationship. You should be getting what you need from that person, not from me.

And, I think he may know that something is up, but I'm not sure. He called me Alica yesterday. He hasn't called me by my name in a long time. He usually uses my nickname, "E", instead of calling me by my name. And that actually caused me to flinch when he said it. But, that is something that I'm going to need to get used to, because there is nothing there anymore. Nothing.

Now it's time to work on me instead of working on some way to persuade him into my bedroom. It's time for me to just work on the things that I need to work to make myself healthy, wealthy and wise. Part of that is to not take an opportunity that has been presented to me for a bit more money and fairly good benefits, but I think that I would be less happy than I am now if I went for this position. It wouldn't give me the adrenaline fulfillment that I need, and well, I don't feel like I should abandon my store right now. I want to see if I *can* turn it around and make it into this fantastic enterprise. I just want to see. And, I wish this other opportunity would just wait for me to be ready for it, but...I just don't think I can go back to that kind of work again. Monday through Friday 8-5. As much as I would love the idea that I could take a weekend roadtrip and not have to think about whether or not I have enough coverage at the store, I know that I would miss that also. I would miss being needed so badly that shit would fall apart if I didn't show up. Even though, well, right now, things aren't like that...at least, for the most part.

Miss was telling me last night that she could X, Y and Z from various pizza places around town and I told her, "Ok, then go. Don't let me hold you back. If you need to make that much money, then go do that. Secondly, they are telling you this amount of time, well, guess what, add about twenty hours to that. You all make more money than I do if you go on an hourly rate, you make more money than I do based on what I am doing for this store and how much time I put into it."
Of course, she told me that I *shouldn't* put this much time into it, but...that's my job. To make sure that this store runs well. Isn't it? I do want some insight into what you think a general manager should be doing. Am I supposed to be available and on call at all times of the day? Am I the person who is to cover and pick up the slack of someone who isn't performing on that particular day? Please, give me your insights into this.

I'm really rambling right now. Badly. I'm gonna go and maybe have a more coherent post later this evening.
mood: pissed offpissed off
 
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 parilous
 
04:41pm 28/10/2007 (UTC)
 
 
Paril
:(

I'm sorry about James -- but glad you didn't get more involved with him than you did because he obviously has no sense of professionalism and private/work separation. God only knows what would have been passed around about you had it gotten more serious (and more naked).

It is a bitch, though, having to worry about what others know about you. But you can take solace from the fact that any impact it would have on how others treat you has probably already taken place -- you just weren't aware of it.

I also applaud your decision to not let him have any kind of influence over you (not even the influence of a friend). It's better that way, I think, given his inability to be anything but deceptive and untrustworthy.

That other opportunity sounds good, but I think your insight into yourself and what you need to feel successful is 100% right. It's good that you know what you want out of a job because it allows you to get satisfaction from what you do for yourself rather than waiting around for someone else to tell you "good job". You never seem to be in a position where people are handing you kudos as much as you hand them out. :(

Hang in there, girl. I believe in you!
 
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