My 2nd to last call of the night was quite interesting.
Dude does equipment change between his contract account and his brother's prepaid account. He did this at the store. Excellent, so far so good. His brother is moving to contract service. All right, good for your brother, glad he was able to get into a contract. The store says, "Ok, you should receive a text message around midnight and then do this and that and the phone will be a magical wonderland of funsies. Yay!
Ah, but not so. It's stuck in the switch. That nasty little switch, so naughty sometimes. The systems have been hobbled by Christmas because apparently, warning us for MONTHS about how busy it was going to be, I guess they neglected to let the technical people know so they could prepare the servers and do updates, blah blah blah.
"Sir, I do apologize, but it seems that the order is stuck in the switch. That's jargon for the system, honestly. Unfortunately, there is nothing that I can do about it as I do not have access to those systems. Possibly only our telesales department and our tech department have access to those systems and they are both closed for the evening."
"What does that mean?"
"That means that you have to wait until the morning to get this issue resolved. I do apologize again for this technical error, but I do not have access to fix this for you. If I did, I would certainly be happy to get that straightened out."
"Then why did they tell us we would be able to do this at midnight?"
"Probably because without this little technical hiccup, you would have been able to."
"So, what you are telling me is that the only people they hire are useless."
My mouth dropped open. Dude, for reals? Did you really just call me useless? Nice.
"I guess so. Is there anything else I can assist you with this evening?"
"Great, thanks for calling blahblah, have a great night."
Look, I'm sorry that something got screwed in the system, but calling me useless is really not going to help ANYTHING. Grow the fuck up and learn to deal with a little adversity. Then again, if this is the worst thing that has ever happened to you, what a charmed life you must lead.
My other lovely call of the evening was someone DEMANDING their money back. I understand, there is a discrepancy with your balance, however, as I've just told you three times, the details aren't updated. It takes about 30 minutes (on a good day) for things to be updated in the system for me to see exactly what is going on. We are perpetually 30 minutes behind what you are doing with your phone. I'm sorry, that's the technology. I can't credit you back for something that I can't see yet. No matter how much you cuss at me it's not going to happen. I don't know what the money went to, if it was an erroneous charge we will get it back to you, you just need to wait 30 minutes so we can see. Pretend it's a pizza.
Young lady using the mobile web, you were a delight on the phone. I got you back the money and explained that right now, with the migration some phones are getting charged and some aren't. Unfortunately, you got the one that charges you airtime. Here's the close to an hour you spent playing on your phone back to you, but, please be careful, you may get charged again and we can't credit that back. Your former carrier loved to charge for airtime, we are just carrying on that tradition. You said thank you, understood everything and said you'd be more careful in the future. You even said please and thank you for everything, just as I did to you. I wanted to come hug you. Your parents did an excellent job.
To the lady who lost her phone, or possibly had it stolen, you were a delight to assist. I got to do some quick thinking to make sure you could still use your voicemail and not be charged your daily fee. Even though you may have to buy new equipment you were still able to make jokes. I appreciated that.
To the guy I helped download the KISS ringtone, you had me and my coworker cracking up with your rendition of "Calling Dr. Love". It made up for the 45 minute call that completely screwed my stats. :)
I like the little area we found to sit in so far. I'm away from my team lead, but there is never any seating around him. I get to hang with my coworkers, chat between calls and we both respect each other's penchant for reading. The only downside is that we keep getting "Some Like It Hot" in each other's heads.
Wednesday is Costco day. I am going to try and buy a pony there.