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03:16am 12/04/2010
Called my mom this afternoon. She called me this morning around 10:30, which woke me up. I was not in the mood to hear her at that point because around 6 a.m. the church down the street was having some sort of event...and the microphone was quite loud. Or, it was something going on at the park, all I know is THAT is what woke me up first. Grrrr. Add that to the gaseous leaf blowers on Friday morning at 6:30 a.m. and I was not a happy camper.

Anyways, called my mom back (after losing terribly in Scrabble) to see how their visit to the NACA workshop went. NACA is an organization hellbent on keeping people in their homes instead of letting them foreclose. They also assist people with getting a low interest mortgage. Anyways, she's telling me all this stuff about it (I've signed up for a workshop in 2 weeks to see if there is anything I can do to get help that way) and she puts me on hold because she's at the drive-thru at KFC.

*sigh* Really? C'mon. The last thing either she or my father needs to be eating is KFC. I told her as much, but she countered with, "We like it just fine." Whatever. I don't think a meal has been cooked in that house in months. When I went to get the car from them in July, I think there were still canned goods there from when I still lived there 4 years prior. Yeah. It's that bad.

I called my Aunt Gloria afterwards. She can't get help from NACA right now because they own 2 houses. She's been trying to work with the bank in getting one house sold but they keep dragging their feet and the buyers just move on to other properties because they don't feel like waiting. I told her I decided to stop paying the mortgage because it seems the only way I can get the bank to budge is if I'm in default. No amount of me telling them that I'm not going to be able to keep up the payments will sway them. They just keep saying, "You aren't in default, we can't help you." Into default I go.

I figured it out though, with my current wages, if I paid the mortgage, I would be minus $400 a month. And that is if I don't eat or put gas in my car. Yeeeaaaah.

I think part of the reason I've been feeling like such crap is because I've been battling with the whole "it's your moral responsibility to pay your mortgage". And, I realize, there is no morality involved, it's business. Any loan is a risk, and if you don't do what you can to make sure that the loan is paid, well, you don't get paid back. Every agency and credit counselor and television show tells you, "If you know you are going to be having problems paying the bills, call them and they will work with you." I haven't seen that play out. It is a little disheartening. But, Friday night I think I finally came to grips with that and actually feel a little better. Almost motivated, really, to do things again. I will be sad if I lose the condo, but I think embracing that possibility for what it is will help keep the mood elevated and me moving in the right direction.

In the interim, I'm going to ask tomorrow about the possible trainer job and keep on applying at other places. Maybe I could go work for the national shoe retailers association :) There is a different call center job open thru the temp agency, it's monday thru friday, which is fantastic, pays about $20 more a week and doesn't seem to be fraught with the bullshit that this job entails. If the trainer position doesn't open up soon, I'll probably put in for an interview with that place and go from there. I'll then start looking for a night job, maybe in the pizza delivery business, I seem to be pretty good at that, no?

I was kicking myself earlier tonight, thinking over the past. Maybe I should have just demoted myself, worked 3 open to close shifts at the east side store and found some other job elsewhere. Ah well, c'est la vie, right?

I need to stop sounding like a broken record. But, dear ol' LJ, you shall come in handy when I start writing about the ups and downs of the housing process. Oh yes you will. Yay!
mood: calmcalm
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(no subject)
08:14pm 12/04/2010 (UTC)
nah, not a good deal for me, plus you have to pay for your house. I don't know if i will lose the condo, right now it's time to play who can hold out the longest. if i lose it, ok, if i don't, even better.
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